Many of you will remember that early last summer, I posted an article about Lindsey Creekmore. The RN on staff at the clinic operated by Dr. Leroy Carhart.
On Wednesday, March 19th...Lindsey will finally begin her hearing with the Nebraska State Board of Nursing to determine whether or not she will lose her nursing license. It goes without saying that Lindsey needs all of the support that she can get.
The news was released last May that Nebraska State Attorney General, Jon Bruning, had filed a 12 page petition with the state to revoke Lindsey's license. It is important to note that Jon Bruning has a long history of holding a strong pro-life stance.
Included in this post is the original news clip that I viewed when I found out about the allegations last year. Since then, I've gotten to know Lindsey personally and have spent time at the clinic (as you all know). Anyone who knows Lindsey, knows that these allegations are false. Anyone who has spent time at the clinic knows that those allegations are false.
I am absolutely confident that Lindsey will come out on top of this situation, but in the meantime, she needs all the support she can get. If it's possible for you to be in Lincoln for the hearing, please plan on doing so. I will post more details, such as times and any updates that I get as I get them. Please share this article/hashtag with as many of your pro-choice friends/family members as possible.
#ProLindsey
Lindsey's News Interview
Showing posts with label late term abortion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label late term abortion. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Monday, February 11, 2013
Unacceptable.
I post tonight with a heavy heart and furious mind, as a family out of New York has lost their wife and daughter after a complication from a late term abortion (due to a fetal anomaly). I know that this family was looking forward to meeting their daughter/granddaughter. And I know that their hearts had to break once they realized that the pregnancy was not meant to be. They had already named the baby. But to lose the baby's mother, as well, during such an excruciating time is nothing short of salt being rubbed in a wound. This whole unfortunate ordeal breaks my heart.
Unfortunately, when ANY medical procedure is done, risks are present, regardless of the procedure. With any SURGICAL procedure, the risk of death is always present. Always. Anytime that anesthesia is introduced, the risk is greater. The later in a pregnancy, the most risky the termination. That has nothing to do with the doctor performing it. Those are just the facts.
So when the pro-life side decides to publish this poor young woman's name, her husband's name, her parents' names, her employment information and the information as to how she died, as well as the "notes" taken from the pro-life harassment comity that happened to be stationed outside of a clinic, I get pretty pissed off. I know what it's like to lose someone. And I know that if, during our time of acceptance and healing, someone posted personal information in a public forum, such as the INTERNET, there would be no place for them to hide.
The ironic part of all of this is that the majority of the hard core pro-lifers who tend to do this sort of thing, claim to be a God fearing group of people, first and foremost. What person could think that it is morally acceptable to exploit this family's tragedy in such a way? For their own political agenda? How is that okay? How is that acceptable? It's not. In no way is that acceptable. It's doing nothing other than causing pain: to this family in their time of sorrow and to this doctor who just lost a patient.
I've thought long and hard about whether to post links to this poor woman's story. But I have decided not to. They are already getting so much exposure in such a private time, I don't think it would be appropriate to spread this any father than it's already gone. I realize this story can easily be found online (because the pro-lifers have done such a fabulous job of spreading it like wildfire among themselves), but I *personally* do not wish to share.
Unfortunately, when ANY medical procedure is done, risks are present, regardless of the procedure. With any SURGICAL procedure, the risk of death is always present. Always. Anytime that anesthesia is introduced, the risk is greater. The later in a pregnancy, the most risky the termination. That has nothing to do with the doctor performing it. Those are just the facts.
So when the pro-life side decides to publish this poor young woman's name, her husband's name, her parents' names, her employment information and the information as to how she died, as well as the "notes" taken from the pro-life harassment comity that happened to be stationed outside of a clinic, I get pretty pissed off. I know what it's like to lose someone. And I know that if, during our time of acceptance and healing, someone posted personal information in a public forum, such as the INTERNET, there would be no place for them to hide.
The ironic part of all of this is that the majority of the hard core pro-lifers who tend to do this sort of thing, claim to be a God fearing group of people, first and foremost. What person could think that it is morally acceptable to exploit this family's tragedy in such a way? For their own political agenda? How is that okay? How is that acceptable? It's not. In no way is that acceptable. It's doing nothing other than causing pain: to this family in their time of sorrow and to this doctor who just lost a patient.
I've thought long and hard about whether to post links to this poor woman's story. But I have decided not to. They are already getting so much exposure in such a private time, I don't think it would be appropriate to spread this any father than it's already gone. I realize this story can easily be found online (because the pro-lifers have done such a fabulous job of spreading it like wildfire among themselves), but I *personally* do not wish to share.
Monday, June 11, 2012
A Mother's Choice
I became a mother at the age of 19. I had been married for
only 5 months to my Marine when we found out. I was terrified. But quickly, I
fell in love with this little life that was growing inside of me. How could I
not? At about 4 months along, we made a move 3 hours north. So, with no friends
or family nearby, I spent my days preparing for this new baby that seemed to
pop into our lives out of nowhere. At 7 months, I went in for a regular check
up with my OB, she measured me and said she was referring me to a maternal
fetal specialist because she thought that my measurements may be off. She told
me that they would do an ultrasound and check things out. All I heard was
“ultrasound”. We had not yet learned the gender, so I was ecstatic to have the
chance to find out. I knew nothing about measurements or what ones that were
off could mean. After about an hour long scan, we were told that our baby was a
girl and that we needed to come back in two weeks. I don’t even remember the
explanation they gave us for the return visit. I was so naïve. At the second
appointment, we were told that our baby had a big head (if you saw my husband,
you would understand why I never thought this was a big deal) and that would
probably need a c-section to deliver. I was a little confused when the
specialist requested us in his office after our scan and gave us the “all
clear”. I had no idea that we were ever not
“all clear”.
Between our first daughter and our last child, a son, I
learned a lot. As you’ve read before (if you’re a regular reader), I did a
research paper in 2010 on abortion. The things that I uncovered shook me to my
core. A few months into my research, I came across an online support board,
Terminations for Medical Reasons. The stories that I was reading were not the
kind of things most people would expect to see when reading stories of
abortion.
You see, when most people think of someone having an
abortion, they envision a young girl sneaking into her local Planned
Parenthood, hidden behind dark glasses and baggy clothes. It seems despicable
that a young girl would be making such a life changing decision without her
parents knowing, and even that she would be partaking in such dangerous adult
actions. They hear the word “abortion” and they think: irresponsible, careless,
heartless, murderer. But beyond that, people aren’t giving this conversation
much thought. The pro-life side is imagining these young girls leaving their
local clinics relieved, and in good spirits. But no one is thinking about the
devastated women who are sitting inside of those walls. For some women, this
option is no “choice”. As a mother myself, I can sympathize. My daughter starts
to wobble on her bike, and I immediately have the instinct to dash towards her
to catch her before she falls. My son skins his knee, and seeing him cry is
enough to put me in tears. My youngest son stirs in the middle of the night,
and I am on my feet and beside his bed. It’s a mother’s instinct to protect her
child. So when a mother goes in for a routine ultrasound and her doctor starts
throwing words at her like Spina Bifida (a spinal defect), Arnold’s Chiari (a brain malformation), myelomeningocele
(where the spinal cord and back bone do not close before birth), and enlarged
ventricles, a mother goes into protective mode. This was the case for Carol and
her daughter, Nora.
Carol went in for her anatomy scan at 19 weeks, 1 day. As
she lay on the exam table, watching her sweet baby girl, she had no idea that
in a matter of minutes her doctor would come in and inform her of his
devastating suspicions. Just a few days later, at 20 weeks, her doctor
confirmed the suspicion that Nora had Spina Bifida. How does anyone digest such
news? Carol and her husband decided to terminate the pregnancy out of love for
their baby girl. What kind of life can a child have under such circumstances?
The termination took place at 21 weeks, 2 days. As ironic as it may sound,
Carol’s experience was one of the best that a woman in this situation could
hope for. She was able to terminate at a hospital in Detroit, with no
protestors and compassionate healthcare professionals.
Other mothers, like Nicole, aren’t so lucky. They have to
face angry protestors, which only make the act of letting their child go even
harder. And one has to wonder, how is it possible for someone to judge another
so harshly when the situation is one such as this? Nicole’s baby, Hannah, was
diagnosed at around 20 weeks with Trisomy 13. In cases of Trisomy 13, a patient
(in this case, Hannah) has an additional chromosome 13, which can cause
problems in development such as heart and kidney defects and more than 80% of
children diagnosed will die within the first year of life.
Nicole describes her situation as “cold”. Unlike Carol’s
hospital experience, Nicole was sent to a clinic and forced to share a waiting
room with girls who were there to terminate unwanted, unplanned pregnancies.
She even described some as “happy to be there”. And on top of the uncomfortable waiting room
and protestors, the care she received from the staff was lackluster, at best. It
is interesting to note that Nicole’s cold experience took place just 4 short
months ago. Women are still receiving
this heartless, disconnected kind of care.
For some reason, the pro-life side sees these cases
(terminations for medical reasons) as no different as a woman just deciding
that she doesn’t want to be a mother. And while I am about as pro-choice as
they come, the situations are drastically different. You have one woman (or
girl) who has an unwanted pregnancy and needs to end it. And you have another
who has tried for this baby, wanted this baby, and loved this baby since day
one. These mothers are choosing to live in pain every day for the rest of their
lives so that their sick babies won’t have to. As a mother myself, I look at
these women with complete admiration. How brave would a woman have to be to
make that choice? How would you go into that decision knowing that people would
judge you so harshly, that your family and friends may not approve, and most
importantly, that you would be losing this little part of yourself? I read
these women’s stories and the only thing that comes to mind is “selfless”.
In closing, I cannot imagine being in this situation. I’ve
had my own scares with each of my pregnancies, and each time, it felt like my
world was crumbling…but everything always turned out to be alright. These women
don’t get the “all clear”. They get a terrible decision thrown in their faces:
carry your sick baby to term and watch them suffer and/or die. OR, terminate
your pregnancy and spend the rest of your days trying to heal. Neither choice
is easy. Neither choice is black and white. In fact, there seems to be a gray
haze over the entire issue. It is a terrible decision to have to make, but one
that needs to be made. And it is an option that women and their families need
to have. No one ever wants to have to use
the option, but everyone needs it in place. To expect women to carry
pregnancies to term that may have devastating effects on their own health,
their marriages, their finances, and even their other children is wrong. That is the one simple thing about this
debate. It is wrong for a woman to not have the option.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
In Memory of Dr. Geoge Tiller, Warrior for Women
If you mention George Tiller in conversation, many won't have any idea who you're talking about. Many people don't know that a little more than three years ago, George Tiller was one of only 3 doctors in the United States that would perform late term abortions. If you google him, you will find far more horror stories than raves. But peppered among those horror stories are stories from women who went to him. Women who were desperate. Women who were (and are still) devastated. Women who are grateful.
For Dr. Tiller's family and these patients and their families, today marks a very sad day. Today is the third anniversary of Dr. Tiller's death. And what makes it worse is how he died. He didn't die peacefully in his sleep. He didn't have a heart attack. He wasn't killed in a car accident. No, Dr. Tiller was standing in the lobby of his church, with his wife just on the other side of the auditorium doors, when Scott Roeder walked up to him, and shot him in the head at point blank range.
I first learned of Dr. Tiller in 2010, while doing research for a pro-life paper that I was writing for a psychology class. At first, all I found were the horror stories. As a mother, I was appalled. I just kept thinking, why would a mother abort her child, much less if the pregnancy is in a later stage?!. I was naive. And after everything I read started to sink in, I thought that there must be positive stories about Dr. Tiller somewhere on the internet. I decided that I needed to find and read those before deciding how I really felt about this. This was too big of a deal to be so black and white. So my research shifted. Soon, I found websites with pages like "Kansas stories", stories of women who had traveled to Wichita for Dr. Tiller to end their pregnancy. I came across a Terminations for Medical Reasons board on a parenting website. The stories were truly devastating. One woman talked about the ultrasound where she and her husband found our that their very planned, loved, and wanted baby had no brain. She talked about the pain of letting her child go. Another woman talked about finding out that her baby had a devastating case of spina bifida. These were things that I could never imagine dealing with. As a mother, my heart broke for them. I started contacting women from that board. Most of them were happy to share their experiences with me. I went to the Operation Rescue website and did a little research on George Tiller and came up with information on his former employees. I looked those ladies up and tried contacting them, as well. These people had no reason to talk to me. For all they knew, I could have been a pro-life extremist phishing for information. And let's be honest, I was just a student doing a paper. But one lady took a chance on me. Bonnie Moss-Rhodes accepted my friends request on Facebook. I was extremely nervous to reach out, but that didn't last long. Bonnie was very willing to answer my questions and shed new light for me. With the things she told me, along with the women I had spoken to and the stories I had read from patients, my mind was made up. My views had changed. Suddenly, I couldn't feel anything but sympathy for these mothers and their families, and respect for Dr. Tiller. I was officially pro-choice. But I was also left with about 1,000,002 questions.
For the third anniversary of his death, Bonnie Moss-Rhodes agreed to answer some questions for me, that will hopefully shed light on this issue for everyone, regardless of what side of the fence you stand on. I, in no way, wanted to be intrusive to her memories or over-step my bounds. I would have been happy with answers to one of my questions, but I asked 10. She gave me detailed answers to every question I asked and was happy to do so. I'll post the Q & A below, with a description of what is being talked about in bold, if I feel it needs further explaining to others. I would also like to say that Bonnie answered these questions while only speaking for herself.
Q. What is one memory of Dr. Tiller that sticks out in your mind?
A: My most intense memory is of the Doctor sitting next to the bed of a patient all night talking to her and her husband. I had called to tell him that he was needed back in around midnight. This was after a long day at work. He was so caring and sweet with this couple. He could not have been more concerned if it was his own family.
Q: Was there any particular case that strengthened your feelings about a woman's right to choose while you were working with Dr. Tiller?
A: There were so many cases where patients just tore at your heart. Especially where rape was involved or the cases where the patient had already watched a child die from a genetic condition over months or years and simply could not see another face the same fate. There were also those families that had tried so hard to become pregnant and then had to deal with having to terminate. So many of them had made their decision out of love for that baby they so longed for, choosing to terminate the pregnancy instead rather than to cause it more suffering. Every week there were reasons to recommit and they strengthened the fact that women and their families must have an option of what is best for their families.
Q: Do you and the other former workers keep in touch? Is there a type of comradery between all of you?
Q: Was there any sense among you, and the other workers, or Dr. Tiller that the work was coming to an end?
A: No, I did not get that impression. We had several other very good doctors. Dr. Tiller's retirement did not mean closing the clinic. It took a cold-blooded murderer to do that. Even with that being done, our other doctors and some of the nurses are still providing services for the patients in other states.
Q: Do you remember how work was handled on the Sunday (or few days after, for the women who had already started the process) that Dr. Tiller was murdered?
A: I did not work in the office, but I believe that all patients were called and told the circumstance and then directed to where they could receive service.
Q: Do you think the decision to close the clinic permanently (Dr. Tiller's family decided to permanently close the clinic in the days following his death) was the best idea? Do you think that in some way, the other side "won" when the clinic closed?
A: I do not think the other side won anything when the clinic closed. I think the clinic closing was the best thing for the family. They had lived under threat for so long and had had their husband and father murdered in cold blood. Dr. Tiller remains a force in the pro-choice movement. His murder, once again, showed how little the other side has accomplished in the debate. They could not bully the Doctor into closing, so they, for the sixth time (Dr. Tiller was the 6th abortionist murdered by pro-life extremists), chose to murder.
Q: Do you think, that at this point, fighting for women's rights is a losing battle?
A: Absolutely not. Birth control, abortion, women's health...I grew up with this fight. We cannot go back to the way it was when I was a young woman. Women are more important than any political candidate. I have daughters and granddaughters that I will fight to the death for. We may have setbacks and we may relax and let the other side get control of the conversation, but we have way too much to lose to ever give up.
Q: If you could tell pro-lifers who were willing to listening, ANYTHING (about Dr. Tiller, women's rights, your own experiences at the clinic, etc.), what would it be?
A: In regards to Dr. Tiller, I would tell them that the fact that so many lies were readily believed by the anti-choice (pro-life) side about this good man, that the attempt to portray him as some demon only shows how little truth the anti's had on their side of the debate. I would tell them that if they were really concerned about babies, they would be promoting policies to make sure that not a single child in this country went hungry or lacked all educational opportunities and an equal chance at achievement. I would say that if they really wanted to prevent a great many abortions, that they would support access to birth control and make sure that women were supported while pregnant so that they (pregnant women) did not have to choose between feeding the children that they already have and keeping a roof over their head over carrying a pregnancy to term. They would fight for subsidized, safe childcare for poor, working women and for the education of women that enables them to become truly self-supported. To just insist on a woman carrying to term without these things shows that the real agenda of the anti-choice movement is not saving babies, but controlling women. I would tell them that when a woman's life and health is on the line, it is not up to them to decide that the woman must sacrifice herself. I would tell them that there are cases where a fetus is so damaged that if born, it will only live a few minutes or hours or days, in pain and suffering, and that for the parents to be forced to endure the suffering of a baby with no hope is just immoral.
After I asked her these 10 questions, I asked Bonnie one more thing. I asked her if she, like so many pro-lifers like to believe about her and the other workers, was pro-abortion. This is an idea that has always irked me because, really, who thinks, "Hey! Let's see how many women we can talk into having abortions today!"....yeah, no one. Abortion is no one's ideal. Bonnie's response was simple:
"I honestly believe that it is the decision of the woman, and her's alone to make". And then she went on to explain that she would love to see a world where abortion was a rare thing, where birth control improved to the point where unintended pregnancy was rare. She said she would love to see genetic anomalies treatable, if not a thing of the past. A world where women were not impregnated through rape, where women were supported to the point where they could choose to carry this child, while supporting that child. She said that even in a perfect world, abortion would still be necessary, but rare while readily available to those who need it.
Through our conversation, she also added that in all her years, she has never met anyone who was happy about having an abortion. Relieved and grateful, maybe, but never happy. (I have to agree, I have often said that no girl or woman ever aspires to have an abortion.) She said that all of her patients had put considerable time into making the decision to terminate, often with the support of family and friends. Something very interesting to note is that she said all of the doctors and counselors that she worked with were able to weed out patients who were there because someone was forcing them to be, or when they were there, but clearly didn't want an abortion. The staff was able to give these women resources and send them on their way, as Bonnie puts it. She even says that the staff at Women's Health Care (The Wichita clinic that Dr. Tiller ran) was probably able to weed out more of these kinds of woman in a month than the amount of people standing at the gate to protest. And if you've ever looked up pictures from any of these ((daily)) protests, you will see that that is quite a bit.
I hope that you walk away from this post with valuable insight. And that even if you don't agree with the work that was done, you can still respect the man, those who worked beside him, and the families that sought his services. One thing that I have learned through this research, along with my own experiences in motherhood, is that baby-making is not a perfect science. In fact, it can be pretty catastrophic, and when it is it's devastating. No one can ever say whether or not they'd go through with an abortion (whether it be an early or late term abortion) until they are in the position to. I hope none of my readers are ever in that position, but if they are, I want them to have access to safe, legal, and compassionate care. I do not want them to face judgement from people, let alone people who have never been in their shoes. I want them to receive the counseling before and after the procedure that is so essential to the healing process.
I hope that today, on this somber anniversary, Dr. Tiller's family is able to look back and remember their father...their husband...the hero, without giving a second thought to Scott Roeder. He doesn't deserve their brain space. I hope they are able to look past the awful way he died, to remember the amazing work that he did. I hope they can push the hateful memories out of their minds, and remember the women who are so grateful to have been able to go to Dr. Tiller.
As Bonnie told me, we have to keep the conversation going. We have to keep this issue present in people's minds. Women who have had abortions, for whatever reason, need to speak out so that we can start to erase the stigma. Women who haven't had abortions should be thankful, and support the ones that have. If you are pro-choice, work for the cause. Even if that means all you can do is blog about it, or vote for pro-choice politicians...DO IT! Don't think that because you aren't working 5 days a week at a clinic that what you are doing is any less important.
Please, pass this post along to your friends and family. See what everyone has to say. As always, any view is welcome, as long as it is presented respectfully. I would also like to give a HUGE thank you to Mrs. Bonnie Moss-Rhodes. This post wouldn't have been nearly as important or moving without her input.
For Dr. Tiller's family and these patients and their families, today marks a very sad day. Today is the third anniversary of Dr. Tiller's death. And what makes it worse is how he died. He didn't die peacefully in his sleep. He didn't have a heart attack. He wasn't killed in a car accident. No, Dr. Tiller was standing in the lobby of his church, with his wife just on the other side of the auditorium doors, when Scott Roeder walked up to him, and shot him in the head at point blank range.
I first learned of Dr. Tiller in 2010, while doing research for a pro-life paper that I was writing for a psychology class. At first, all I found were the horror stories. As a mother, I was appalled. I just kept thinking, why would a mother abort her child, much less if the pregnancy is in a later stage?!. I was naive. And after everything I read started to sink in, I thought that there must be positive stories about Dr. Tiller somewhere on the internet. I decided that I needed to find and read those before deciding how I really felt about this. This was too big of a deal to be so black and white. So my research shifted. Soon, I found websites with pages like "Kansas stories", stories of women who had traveled to Wichita for Dr. Tiller to end their pregnancy. I came across a Terminations for Medical Reasons board on a parenting website. The stories were truly devastating. One woman talked about the ultrasound where she and her husband found our that their very planned, loved, and wanted baby had no brain. She talked about the pain of letting her child go. Another woman talked about finding out that her baby had a devastating case of spina bifida. These were things that I could never imagine dealing with. As a mother, my heart broke for them. I started contacting women from that board. Most of them were happy to share their experiences with me. I went to the Operation Rescue website and did a little research on George Tiller and came up with information on his former employees. I looked those ladies up and tried contacting them, as well. These people had no reason to talk to me. For all they knew, I could have been a pro-life extremist phishing for information. And let's be honest, I was just a student doing a paper. But one lady took a chance on me. Bonnie Moss-Rhodes accepted my friends request on Facebook. I was extremely nervous to reach out, but that didn't last long. Bonnie was very willing to answer my questions and shed new light for me. With the things she told me, along with the women I had spoken to and the stories I had read from patients, my mind was made up. My views had changed. Suddenly, I couldn't feel anything but sympathy for these mothers and their families, and respect for Dr. Tiller. I was officially pro-choice. But I was also left with about 1,000,002 questions.
For the third anniversary of his death, Bonnie Moss-Rhodes agreed to answer some questions for me, that will hopefully shed light on this issue for everyone, regardless of what side of the fence you stand on. I, in no way, wanted to be intrusive to her memories or over-step my bounds. I would have been happy with answers to one of my questions, but I asked 10. She gave me detailed answers to every question I asked and was happy to do so. I'll post the Q & A below, with a description of what is being talked about in bold, if I feel it needs further explaining to others. I would also like to say that Bonnie answered these questions while only speaking for herself.
Q. What is one memory of Dr. Tiller that sticks out in your mind?
A: My most intense memory is of the Doctor sitting next to the bed of a patient all night talking to her and her husband. I had called to tell him that he was needed back in around midnight. This was after a long day at work. He was so caring and sweet with this couple. He could not have been more concerned if it was his own family.
Q: Was there any particular case that strengthened your feelings about a woman's right to choose while you were working with Dr. Tiller?
A: There were so many cases where patients just tore at your heart. Especially where rape was involved or the cases where the patient had already watched a child die from a genetic condition over months or years and simply could not see another face the same fate. There were also those families that had tried so hard to become pregnant and then had to deal with having to terminate. So many of them had made their decision out of love for that baby they so longed for, choosing to terminate the pregnancy instead rather than to cause it more suffering. Every week there were reasons to recommit and they strengthened the fact that women and their families must have an option of what is best for their families.
Q: Do you and the other former workers keep in touch? Is there a type of comradery between all of you?
A: Not just from working at Dr. Tillers. I have friends I made thirty or so years ago when I first started in clinic defense. There is a comrade in arms feeling. We were under siege and under attack daily. When the anti went to my co workers houses with bull horns it would just make you so angry for them. There is also the very real fear that every time you say good bye at the end of the shift something terrible might happen to these good folks. Yes, I keep in touch with most of those I worked with. I think we went through something that only we can really understand.
Q: Do you have good memories from working with Dr. Tiller, or is it possible to have good memories when you're working in such a traumatic environment (protesters, threats, harassment, sad women and families, etc.)?
A: I have very good memories of working at Women's Health Care. Good memories of the staff and the patients and their families. The protesters are an irritant but not really very noticeable beyond the gate. You are aware that they are there and as I worked all night and watched the monitors, often you are not focused on them. I felt good that I was there to help these women and their families in a time of need. I enjoyed working with different doctors and their different ways of doing things. It is a good feeling to be where you are needed for a reason you believe in.
Q: Is it true, as Operation Rescue (an extremely prolife organization) has reported, that Dr. Tiller was getting ready to retire?
A: I do not know for sure, but that is very likely. He had been a target of so much hatred and harassment for so long. I know how deeply he loved his family and I hope he was planning to spend more time with them away from the crazies (the "crazies" being the pro-life extremists). He certainly had earned it.
Q: Was there any sense among you, and the other workers, or Dr. Tiller that the work was coming to an end?
A: No, I did not get that impression. We had several other very good doctors. Dr. Tiller's retirement did not mean closing the clinic. It took a cold-blooded murderer to do that. Even with that being done, our other doctors and some of the nurses are still providing services for the patients in other states.
Q: Do you remember how work was handled on the Sunday (or few days after, for the women who had already started the process) that Dr. Tiller was murdered?
A: I did not work in the office, but I believe that all patients were called and told the circumstance and then directed to where they could receive service.
Q: Do you think the decision to close the clinic permanently (Dr. Tiller's family decided to permanently close the clinic in the days following his death) was the best idea? Do you think that in some way, the other side "won" when the clinic closed?
A: I do not think the other side won anything when the clinic closed. I think the clinic closing was the best thing for the family. They had lived under threat for so long and had had their husband and father murdered in cold blood. Dr. Tiller remains a force in the pro-choice movement. His murder, once again, showed how little the other side has accomplished in the debate. They could not bully the Doctor into closing, so they, for the sixth time (Dr. Tiller was the 6th abortionist murdered by pro-life extremists), chose to murder.
Q: Do you think, that at this point, fighting for women's rights is a losing battle?
A: Absolutely not. Birth control, abortion, women's health...I grew up with this fight. We cannot go back to the way it was when I was a young woman. Women are more important than any political candidate. I have daughters and granddaughters that I will fight to the death for. We may have setbacks and we may relax and let the other side get control of the conversation, but we have way too much to lose to ever give up.
Q: If you could tell pro-lifers who were willing to listening, ANYTHING (about Dr. Tiller, women's rights, your own experiences at the clinic, etc.), what would it be?
A: In regards to Dr. Tiller, I would tell them that the fact that so many lies were readily believed by the anti-choice (pro-life) side about this good man, that the attempt to portray him as some demon only shows how little truth the anti's had on their side of the debate. I would tell them that if they were really concerned about babies, they would be promoting policies to make sure that not a single child in this country went hungry or lacked all educational opportunities and an equal chance at achievement. I would say that if they really wanted to prevent a great many abortions, that they would support access to birth control and make sure that women were supported while pregnant so that they (pregnant women) did not have to choose between feeding the children that they already have and keeping a roof over their head over carrying a pregnancy to term. They would fight for subsidized, safe childcare for poor, working women and for the education of women that enables them to become truly self-supported. To just insist on a woman carrying to term without these things shows that the real agenda of the anti-choice movement is not saving babies, but controlling women. I would tell them that when a woman's life and health is on the line, it is not up to them to decide that the woman must sacrifice herself. I would tell them that there are cases where a fetus is so damaged that if born, it will only live a few minutes or hours or days, in pain and suffering, and that for the parents to be forced to endure the suffering of a baby with no hope is just immoral.
After I asked her these 10 questions, I asked Bonnie one more thing. I asked her if she, like so many pro-lifers like to believe about her and the other workers, was pro-abortion. This is an idea that has always irked me because, really, who thinks, "Hey! Let's see how many women we can talk into having abortions today!"....yeah, no one. Abortion is no one's ideal. Bonnie's response was simple:
"I honestly believe that it is the decision of the woman, and her's alone to make". And then she went on to explain that she would love to see a world where abortion was a rare thing, where birth control improved to the point where unintended pregnancy was rare. She said she would love to see genetic anomalies treatable, if not a thing of the past. A world where women were not impregnated through rape, where women were supported to the point where they could choose to carry this child, while supporting that child. She said that even in a perfect world, abortion would still be necessary, but rare while readily available to those who need it.
Through our conversation, she also added that in all her years, she has never met anyone who was happy about having an abortion. Relieved and grateful, maybe, but never happy. (I have to agree, I have often said that no girl or woman ever aspires to have an abortion.) She said that all of her patients had put considerable time into making the decision to terminate, often with the support of family and friends. Something very interesting to note is that she said all of the doctors and counselors that she worked with were able to weed out patients who were there because someone was forcing them to be, or when they were there, but clearly didn't want an abortion. The staff was able to give these women resources and send them on their way, as Bonnie puts it. She even says that the staff at Women's Health Care (The Wichita clinic that Dr. Tiller ran) was probably able to weed out more of these kinds of woman in a month than the amount of people standing at the gate to protest. And if you've ever looked up pictures from any of these ((daily)) protests, you will see that that is quite a bit.
I hope that you walk away from this post with valuable insight. And that even if you don't agree with the work that was done, you can still respect the man, those who worked beside him, and the families that sought his services. One thing that I have learned through this research, along with my own experiences in motherhood, is that baby-making is not a perfect science. In fact, it can be pretty catastrophic, and when it is it's devastating. No one can ever say whether or not they'd go through with an abortion (whether it be an early or late term abortion) until they are in the position to. I hope none of my readers are ever in that position, but if they are, I want them to have access to safe, legal, and compassionate care. I do not want them to face judgement from people, let alone people who have never been in their shoes. I want them to receive the counseling before and after the procedure that is so essential to the healing process.
I hope that today, on this somber anniversary, Dr. Tiller's family is able to look back and remember their father...their husband...the hero, without giving a second thought to Scott Roeder. He doesn't deserve their brain space. I hope they are able to look past the awful way he died, to remember the amazing work that he did. I hope they can push the hateful memories out of their minds, and remember the women who are so grateful to have been able to go to Dr. Tiller.
As Bonnie told me, we have to keep the conversation going. We have to keep this issue present in people's minds. Women who have had abortions, for whatever reason, need to speak out so that we can start to erase the stigma. Women who haven't had abortions should be thankful, and support the ones that have. If you are pro-choice, work for the cause. Even if that means all you can do is blog about it, or vote for pro-choice politicians...DO IT! Don't think that because you aren't working 5 days a week at a clinic that what you are doing is any less important.
Please, pass this post along to your friends and family. See what everyone has to say. As always, any view is welcome, as long as it is presented respectfully. I would also like to give a HUGE thank you to Mrs. Bonnie Moss-Rhodes. This post wouldn't have been nearly as important or moving without her input.
In Loving Memory of Dr. George Tiller
August 8, 1941-May 31, 2009
"Attitude is Everything"
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
I'm pretty interested in everyone's thoughts on abortion, as opposed to just pro-choicers. So, on my facebook page, I'm subscribed to several pro-life bloggers, speakers, etc. And seeing as it is April 4th...I'm expecting to start seeing postings about George Tiller in the very near future, as he was murdered on 5/31/09. All of the pro-choicers remember him on that day, and all the pro-lifers remind us that, while they don't condone what Scott Roeder (The gunman) did, it is a good thing that George Tiller isn't in business anymore (even if it means he's dead?). It seems that George Tiller is a touchy subject for even some pro-choicers, seeing as he did late term abortions. And many pro-choicers are only pro-choice in the early stages of pregnancy. But everyone seems to forget, these late term abortions....they were done out of mercy. These children were wanted. Their mothers didn't murder them, they let them go...freed them from their suffering. I can't imagine being in their shoes. I know how scary our ventricle scare with Phoenix was, and that wasn't even a life threatening issue. But these women were facing things like, T21 (Down Syndrome) with serious heart defects, Trisomy 18, and Anancephaly. How awful to know that the sweet baby you're carrying, that you want, is suffering inside of you...and that they probably won't live long (and certainly not well) once they are born. I can't imagine.
I hope that as the anniversary of George Tiller's death approaches, people will remember the GOOD that he did. I hope that people will start looking past the villain that the pro-lifers have made him out to be. I hope that people will stop judging the women who sought his services in their darkest moments. I hope that the violence against providers will STOP.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
The basics
Very few people understand my views on abortion. Even fewer people understand how I came to feel the way that I do. It is true that I was raised in a conservative, Christian home where abortion was considered wrong. I was raised to believe that life begins at conception, and that if you were able to have sex, you were able to have a baby. If you were raped, adoption was the way to go. The only acceptable condition for which to have an abortion was an ectopic pregnancy.
My thoughts started to change once in 2010 when I had to do a persuasive research paper. I chose to write about abortion, I was planning to try to persuade my class to go the pro-life route. But by the end of my research, I had managed to do the opposite...to myself. My research started out on simple abortion. I figured, a girl gets pregnant, panics, goes to a clinic and her problem is gone forever. Well, right off the bat, I realized that there was much more to it than that. No one WANTS to have an abortion. It's not on any little girl's list of dreams. Girls get pregnant...all the time...under all kinds of circumstances.
My "typical" abortion research soon went deeper, and before I knew it, I was researching late term abortion. Before this paper, I didn't even know that late term abortion was in the realm of possibility. I knew that you could have a vacuum aspiration abortion. I knew that you could have a D&C. But I had no idea that there were procedures to stop a baby's heart, or that you could choose to terminate a pregnancy and then deliver your baby through a labor experience. I had no idea that in Wichita, there was an entire WAR on abortion, based on one man and his clinic. At first, I was horrified. I had nightmares. Needless to say, I bought the propaganda.
Finally, I started coming across personal stories from women who had had these late term abortions. I read their stories and cried. I read with excitement about women who had tried for years to get pregnant, and finally did...only to cry when I read that when they went for their anatomy scans (or before, or even later), they found out that their baby hadn't developed a brain, or had multiple broken bones, or their intestines had developed outside of their little bodies. I thought of my own children, and the excitement that I felt with every pregnancy and every ultrasound...and how devastated I would have been to find out that one of my children was suffering. I thought of what I (and most women I know) would do if they were able to take their children's pain away. And that's when it hit me, these women weren't killing their babies for the hell of it. They weren't even "killing" them...they were letting them go. Letting them go from a short life of suffering. And these women, they didn't really feel the relief that I always assumed women who had abortions felt afterwards. No, these women were broken. They were devastated in a way that a woman who lost a baby to miscarriage would be, and in some cases, even more so...because they were the ones who made the decision to end the suffering, it wasn't made for them.
Of course, a lot of people think that's the point. That the decision wasn't made FOR them. It's something I understand. After all, people tend to forget that I came from the pro-life side. I get it. It is a personal issue that differs from person to person and from situation to situation. I can see how people feel that only God should decide if a baby lives or dies. But part of me also feels that God has given us the ability to detect these things, and to handle them how we feel best.
So, after taking in all of this information on late term abortions (which seemed ENDLESS), I got to thinking again about all of those early abortions. All of the ones that I figured girls just "had" because it was an easy fix. I started talking to girls that had had them. Not one girl I spoke with didn't have some issue with the abortion she had had. Even if she now felt that she had made the right decision, every girl I spoke to was still sad about it. She still felt a loss.
I finally came to the conclusion that abortion wasn't something that anyone "just did". It wasn't the easy fix. It came with a whole set of problems on it's own. Whether we're talking about a 17 year old girl who got pregnant or a 30 year old woman who finally got pregnant after trying for 2 years with her husband....these women were all losing something. Even if only their naivety, something was being lost. And usually, it was much more than that.
In all of this internet mumbo-jumbo, I came across a quote that stuck with me. As I was watching an interview that George Tiller did, he said that he realized that abortion was a matter of survival for women. A matter of survival. Was it? That seems extreme. But it was true. The women who have 3 children that they can barely support, and while being responsible with their sex lives, they end up pregnant again...for the 12 year old girl who is raped by her step-father...for the woman who knows just how badly her baby is suffering with every moment longer that she's pregnant....it is a matter of survival. Adoption can't always be the answer. And even at our most responsible, life can still just...happen.
So here we go. I'm sure I'll catch more hell for this blog than I can even begin to expect, but here it is. How I feel, in black and white.
Please feel free to comment, but also remember that your views (regardless of how they may differ from mine) are RESPECTED, so the same courtesy is expected of you. Our views on abortion do not equal who we are as people, so please keep that in mind.
My thoughts started to change once in 2010 when I had to do a persuasive research paper. I chose to write about abortion, I was planning to try to persuade my class to go the pro-life route. But by the end of my research, I had managed to do the opposite...to myself. My research started out on simple abortion. I figured, a girl gets pregnant, panics, goes to a clinic and her problem is gone forever. Well, right off the bat, I realized that there was much more to it than that. No one WANTS to have an abortion. It's not on any little girl's list of dreams. Girls get pregnant...all the time...under all kinds of circumstances.
My "typical" abortion research soon went deeper, and before I knew it, I was researching late term abortion. Before this paper, I didn't even know that late term abortion was in the realm of possibility. I knew that you could have a vacuum aspiration abortion. I knew that you could have a D&C. But I had no idea that there were procedures to stop a baby's heart, or that you could choose to terminate a pregnancy and then deliver your baby through a labor experience. I had no idea that in Wichita, there was an entire WAR on abortion, based on one man and his clinic. At first, I was horrified. I had nightmares. Needless to say, I bought the propaganda.
Finally, I started coming across personal stories from women who had had these late term abortions. I read their stories and cried. I read with excitement about women who had tried for years to get pregnant, and finally did...only to cry when I read that when they went for their anatomy scans (or before, or even later), they found out that their baby hadn't developed a brain, or had multiple broken bones, or their intestines had developed outside of their little bodies. I thought of my own children, and the excitement that I felt with every pregnancy and every ultrasound...and how devastated I would have been to find out that one of my children was suffering. I thought of what I (and most women I know) would do if they were able to take their children's pain away. And that's when it hit me, these women weren't killing their babies for the hell of it. They weren't even "killing" them...they were letting them go. Letting them go from a short life of suffering. And these women, they didn't really feel the relief that I always assumed women who had abortions felt afterwards. No, these women were broken. They were devastated in a way that a woman who lost a baby to miscarriage would be, and in some cases, even more so...because they were the ones who made the decision to end the suffering, it wasn't made for them.
Of course, a lot of people think that's the point. That the decision wasn't made FOR them. It's something I understand. After all, people tend to forget that I came from the pro-life side. I get it. It is a personal issue that differs from person to person and from situation to situation. I can see how people feel that only God should decide if a baby lives or dies. But part of me also feels that God has given us the ability to detect these things, and to handle them how we feel best.
So, after taking in all of this information on late term abortions (which seemed ENDLESS), I got to thinking again about all of those early abortions. All of the ones that I figured girls just "had" because it was an easy fix. I started talking to girls that had had them. Not one girl I spoke with didn't have some issue with the abortion she had had. Even if she now felt that she had made the right decision, every girl I spoke to was still sad about it. She still felt a loss.
I finally came to the conclusion that abortion wasn't something that anyone "just did". It wasn't the easy fix. It came with a whole set of problems on it's own. Whether we're talking about a 17 year old girl who got pregnant or a 30 year old woman who finally got pregnant after trying for 2 years with her husband....these women were all losing something. Even if only their naivety, something was being lost. And usually, it was much more than that.
In all of this internet mumbo-jumbo, I came across a quote that stuck with me. As I was watching an interview that George Tiller did, he said that he realized that abortion was a matter of survival for women. A matter of survival. Was it? That seems extreme. But it was true. The women who have 3 children that they can barely support, and while being responsible with their sex lives, they end up pregnant again...for the 12 year old girl who is raped by her step-father...for the woman who knows just how badly her baby is suffering with every moment longer that she's pregnant....it is a matter of survival. Adoption can't always be the answer. And even at our most responsible, life can still just...happen.
So here we go. I'm sure I'll catch more hell for this blog than I can even begin to expect, but here it is. How I feel, in black and white.
Please feel free to comment, but also remember that your views (regardless of how they may differ from mine) are RESPECTED, so the same courtesy is expected of you. Our views on abortion do not equal who we are as people, so please keep that in mind.
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