A Thought of His Own, Vol. 1

Not too long ago, I asked a few male followers to help out with a few articles, in an effort to bring men to the conversation. Because while abortion is a women's issue, it is also a men's issue. And we can certainly make more progress and spark more conversation when we all come together for a cause. I've been very excited to see that quite a few of my male followers have stepped up for the challenge. The following post is being posted unedited and anonymously. Without further ado...

I have been invited by Cara to make some comments on the subject of this blog from a man’s point of view.  I am humbled and honored by her request.  Why?  Because I doubt any man can truly understand the issues that women confront on a daily basis.  I think we can logically see many of the issues that they are confronted with, but as to the emotional aspects of it, we don’t have a clue.  We can be empathetic by sensing their feelings, but we do not and cannot experience it.  Because of that I am humbled by this request.  The fact that Cara trusts me with this awesome responsibility makes me feel honored.

Before I express my current views on a few subjects, let me give you a bit of my history.  I am currently 70 years old.  Yes, you can have thoughts and express them cogently after 50.  I reveal this because it is important to my views.  I spent my teen and young adult time in the 60’s, a time of great social upheaval.  I witnessed the rise of the women’s movement.  Burn the bra, the pill, ‘make love, not war’, etc.  It was an exciting time to be alive and to observe, and participate in, such broad spectrum change in people’s attitudes and choices.  But, it was also the time of great reflection on what it was to be human.  Why did we have war?  Why is there racism?  Can your country do wrong?  Why is there poverty?  Why are people living in suppression?  We were the original “Hippies”!  And, while we may not look it, we still think like it.

Let me begin my current views by discussing abortion.  It is rather interesting, at least to me, how my feelings have evolved on this subject.  To begin with, I was raised in a pretty typical middle class family affiliated with a fairly main stream protestant faith.  Abortion was not a typical subject of conversation around the dinner table.  Yes, there were “girls” who left school for what seemed like no reason at all.  Teenage pregnancy was a scandal.  There was no pill, but hormones still worked.  But, how dare you discuss it.  Abortion was only an acceptable option when certain conditions were present; health of the mother, rape, incest and a child that would not live outside the womb. 

When I started college in the mid 60’ things began to change for me.  I found out that some of “those girls” that left in high school did not have their babies, but opted for a very hush, hush abortion.  The pill came into existence and now the “fear” of unwanted pregnancies was reduced to almost nil.  Lo’ and behold I discovered women liked sex, too!  Freedom from fear can do that.  And I met women who decided that they had a voice, and opinions, feelings of being oppressed by men, who cared about the world and those in it.  It was the most delightful revelation I had ever had in my life, at the time.   And, the greatest part of that revelation to me was how little control these women felt they had on their own lives.  I want to be a doctor they would say, but society said, well you can be a nurse.  I want to be in politics they said, well run for the school board society said. The women were right; they were being oppressed, in many different ways.  And one of the biggest was control over their own bodies.  Abortion was still illegal and done only in rather shady clinics and backward facilities often by people who only wanted the money and cared little about the future and health of the women.  Granted there was the beginning of enlightenment.  Some physicians realized that it was better to do it in well-equipped clinics, with trained doctors. But it was very quietly done and not well advertised, unfortunately.  But that is what began my real change.  The fact that such a life altering event as a pregnancy was controlled by everyone, except the pregnant woman.  It was either go full term or break the law.  Guys, don’t even go anywhere with this.  There is nothing in any law that controls your body as long as what you do is legal.  If you do, remember Carol Burnett’s great line, “Men.  Do you want to know what it’s like to have a baby? First grab your upper lip.  Now, pull it over your head!” That’s without considering 9 months of carrying a child, as well.

The second point on this issue that hit me was the fact that abortion had been ruled illegal by legislators in all states who were comprised of a vast majority of men.  What??  There were very few women in politics then (and still surprisingly few, but it has improved).  So, what a dichotomy, men deciding what happens to a woman’s body when they become pregnant.  It’s actually saying that once a woman becomes pregnant, what she does is to involuntarily surrender herself to the state.  That’s the only logical conclusion to that situation.

After college, I headed to graduate school in Chicago.  My school was on the campus of the University of Chicago, one of the hot beds of protest against the Vietnam War, social change, outcry against racism and women’s right in the U.S.  I witnessed the riots at the Democratic Convention in 1968.  I met members of the Chicago 7; I attended services and rallies led Dr. Martin Luther King and Jesse Jackson.  I watched the power of the Daly Machine controlling the city. What a place to be in a time like that.

Toward the end of my time in grad school the hot topic in the country, along with the Vietnam War, was the pending decision by the Supreme Court on the controversial “Roe vs. Wade” lawsuit.  The basis for the law suit was the 14^th Amendment of the Constitution.  Especially the following sentence:

“No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

It was the Equal Protection clause which the suit was based on.  The main argument against by the anti-abortion movement was that they felt that it violated the equal protection of the unborn.  So now the main crux of the matter became apparent.  Was an unborn a person under the law?  Or, was a pregnant woman not treated as equal under the law?  When does life begin?  What is life?  All important questions, but do they supersede the right of a person (read woman) to have equal protection under the law.  I won’t debate here when life begins.  That can be a scientific question, or it can be a belief question.  There are those that believe that all life is sacred, but by a scientific definition, harmful bacteria are alive and we do all we can to kill them.  People in irreversible comas, those on life support with no cognizant brain function and those with severe dementia are alive, but are the living?  Those are individual opinions that I leave for you each to decide on your own.  But, the bottom line is this; I agree with the Supreme Court in their decision on Roe vs. Wade.  Women have the full right to decide what happens to their bodies. 

However, here we are over 40 years later and the debate is still going on.  Why?  I think it can be reduced to only two reasons.  One, many men still have the antiquated idea that they are superior to woman and objectify them as things.  I actually think they do this because they are afraid of strong independent women who think for themselves.  It intimidates them and makes them feel inferior.  And, as for me, they are inferior.  Men and women are both sides of the human experience.  They are the “ying and the yang” of who we are.  Personally, I revel in seeing women as my equal. I have had relationships with many women in my life and all of them have were strong independent women who had their own opinions, thoughts, careers and personality.  Why would a man want anything else?

The second reason it is still with us is because of some religious factions in our country that hold that abortion should be outlawed because the unborn child is a “person of God”.  They proudly refer to themselves as “Pro-Life”.  But, here is what changed my mind totally on this group.  It is a quote by Sister Joan Chittister, a Benedictine nun from Erie, PA.  She holds a doctorate degree from Penn State University in speech communication theory.

"I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don't? Because you don't want any tax money to go there. That's not pro-life. That's pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is."

Yes, the same people who want to stop every abortion are usually the same ones who want to cut programs like, early childhood education, aid to dependent mothers, after school programs, defund Planned Parenthood, school lunch programs, Pell grants, all so they can save on their taxes.  That is why she refers to them as “pro-birth”.  I totally agree with her.  I also see that many of these people are from predominately conservative right leaning Christian denominations.  They also covertly believe in segregation, few rights for women, right wing governments, authoritarian control over their churches and so forth.  They want a world where all issues have black and white answers.  There is no room for shades of grey in their worlds.  If there were, they would have to think for themselves.  They want someone else to decide for them.  They live in an Old Testament world where the laws laid down by the priests and prophets tell them what to do.  Yet they shout out, “Have you found Jesus!” (Actually, I didn’t know that he was lost)  But, at the same time they have no clue about how Jesus preached of love, tolerance, forgiveness, grace and compassion.  He makes us whole, not separated like the law.  He counted women as his equal.  He did not spend time with religious leaders.  His disciples were fishermen, tax collectors, common men. Enough said.

So, what is my conclusion?  Abortion is a woman’s personal decision.  Should she consult with those she loves?  She can if she wants to.  What about women’s rights?  It’s something all men should support, because it is human rights.  None of us will be equal until we realize that all of us should be.

What are we teaching our daughters?

About a week ago, right after my 6 year old started 1st grade, it occurred to me that this is the point at which we usually start telling our little girls that the boys on the playground are mean to them because they "like them". A few years later, we start wondering why our daughters start choosing to spend their time with assholes. There's something wrong here.

For some reason, I can't stop thinking about this. We (as a society) are teaching our daughters that it's acceptable for boys (or men) to treat them like crap because it's basically a sign of affection. What the hell are we thinking? Personally, I want to teach my daughter to kick a boy in the shin if he's mean to her on the playground. Of course, the school systems tend to get a little asshurt over those things these days.

We can't keep teaching our daughters these things (consciously or unconsciously) and wondering why we're seeing so many good girls with assholes, so many bad relationships, and so many girls devaluing themselves in order to stay in these shitty relationships. Let's start teaching our girls to value themselves....to reserve themselves for guys that respect them...that it isn't a sign of affection for a boy (or guy) to be a shit to them.

How do we start changing these "norms"? How do we start the process of breaking the cycle? Let's talk!

My Humble Opinion (if you're not open minded, save yourself the heartache)

As I always say, anyone who knows me and has followed this blog knows that I used to be pro-life. Strongly pro-life. So I think that because I understand that side (as much as it frustrates me now), I have pretty unique pro-choice views. And that tends to piss off some people.

For example, I do think that there should be limitations. I think there should be a cut off for elective abortions, and a separate cut off for certain circumstances, such as medical reasons, rape, or incest. For those of you wondering why I'm all for women being able to terminate late term due to rape or incest, it's because many young girls are scared to speak up if they've been a victim of rape or incest. Therefore, often there pregnancies are undetected by any adult until the girl is showing (often not until 5 or 6 months, and even later than that for some girls). As far as medical reasons, often a fetal anomaly cannot be detected until the anatomy scan, which generally occurs between 18-20 weeks. Some women don't even get ultrasounds before that point. Likewise, often maternal problems aren't detected until later in the pregnancy either. My thoughts on limitations tend to irritate others in the pro-choice community. Everyone likes to say that it's stupid for me to think that women would be flocking to their local abortion clinics to have abortions "just because" at 30 weeks. And that would be stupid. But here's the thing: the world is full of stupid people. I do believe that there would be women (not many, but still), who would terminate late term just because they were allowed to and certain circumstances have put them there (think: martial separation late in a pregnancy. I don't think this type of thing really makes sense as a reason to terminate). Call me anti-woman if you want...but that's just how I feel about it. I don't think it's wrong for a woman to terminate because she simply doesn't want to be pregnant, I just think that kind of abortion should happen ASAP (which also leads me to point out that I believe the government should put some sort of help out there for these women, as the majority of insurance companies don't cover abortions and some women can't come up with a few hundred dollars in the instance of unintended pregnancy). As far as medical reasons--I don't believe that at 38 weeks, a woman should be able to terminate, UNLESS (note people, this is a BIG "unless"), the baby is actively suffering in utero. I'm a mom. I know that none of us would want our children to suffer. Period. If the baby is suffering, and a family wants to terminate, they should be allowed to. But if it's a case of they're okay right now, but they won't survive once they're born, let nature take it's course. Of course, just my opinion. I probably feel this way BECAUSE I am a mom. While I consider myself strongly pro-choice, I've never had the outlook that the fetus isn't a baby. From the start, in my opinion, there is (at the very least) potential for life. I understand that life happens. I understand that women don't want their children to suffer. I understand that sometimes the choice has to be made to save the mother. But that doesn't make me feel any less empathy for the pregnancy, the child, the fetus...whatever you prefer to call it. But in the grand scheme of things, I realize that I am nothing more than a blogger. I write my thoughts out, and a few people read them. And while I am so  incredibly grateful that people spend their incredibly valuable time reading what I write, I realize that at this point in my life, I probably won't be making a difference in this debate. When it comes down to it, we've got a ton of Republican men who believe women should still be barefoot in the kitchen, holding our political offices. And as long as they want this right to be taken away, the very real threat remains. One blog isn't going to change that.

With all of that said, I do respect the feelings and opinions of my pro-choice friends...even the ones who believe abortion should be available on demand, with no restrictions. Because those are their opinions. And I believe that anyone who is willing to speak out on their true feelings on abortion (an often emotionally charged issue), deserves respect. Period. This is not an easy topic to discuss these days. But the fact that it's not easy doesn't mean that we don't need to be facing it. Our rights are in more danger now than they have been since the passing of Roe v Wade. Now is the time for us to speak up and speak out and work to preserve the rights that we have. Not only for ourselves, our friends, and sisters...but for future generations. For our children and their children.

In order for this fight to be won, we have to respect each other in the battle. We're all fighting for the same thing, regardless of whether or not our opinions of the details differ. We all believe that women should have the chance to make a choice: parent, adopt, abort.

WARNING: Very Graphic, May Include Triggers

Early in 2011, I posted about Kermit Gosnell. He was charged with with the deaths of seven infants and 1 woman. Most pro-lifers will argue that every single doctor who provides abortions should face the same charges. However, this case is so far beyond a man who provides abortion services. A new 20 minute documentary highlights exactly what happened behind closed doors in this inner city house of horrors.

Since Roe v. Wade was passed, woman have had access (though often difficult to obtain) to safe, legal abortions. And by "safe", I mean...abortions who are provided by a licensed doctor, in a clean setting, with sterile instruments. The procedures can be done in a number of ways which are often done before the baby has the brain waves/nervous system to make it capable of feeling pain. And once the brain and nervous system has developed to such a point, measures are taken to make the procedure as safe as possible for the baby.

I can only imagine that what Kermit Gosnell did was comparable to back alley abortionists who were in it for nothing more than a quick buck. The Gosnell clinic was located in Philadelphia, in a lower-class neighborhood. Gosnell's "typical" clientele has been described by some as "lower-class", "poor", "minorities", or "under-educated" women. And while it's often true that women who find themselves in desperate situations such as having no money and needing an abortion, will take a risk. I don't think any one of the women who went to Gosnell ever imagined that they would have to be wary of such an experience.

One woman (former patient) who appeared in the documentary describes an experience of seeing women who looked half dead (from being given heavy drugs) sitting in the waiting room, blood spattered walls and floors, blood crusted recliners, and a forceful doctor who refused to let her up off the bed when she changed her mind about the abortion. Instead, he put her to sleep and performed the procedure anyway. She is no longer able to have children.

A clinic worker (who was in no way qualified to do anything other than maybe answer phones and make appointments) snapped cell phone pictures of two of the babies that Gosnell "aborted" (And by "aborted", I mean delivered alive at full term, shoved scissors into the base of their skulls and then "snipped" their spinal cords...a technique that he called "snipping"). These pictures are included in the documentary and are VERY graphic. 

Through the years, two women's deaths were reported to the health department, along with a woman who suffered perforated uterus...but no investigation was done--with any of them. The last time an employee from the Department of Health physically visited the clinic? 1993. Not only is Gosnell and his staff at fault, the city should be held accountable as well, or at least the Department of Health.

It's also interesting to note that Gosnell had one exclusive procedure room that he used for white women. It was reportedly cleaner and nicer than the others, because as he put it "That's the way of the world. Young white women are more likely to tell". The whole ordeal is despicable.

This man was not in the business to help women. Nor was he concerned about providing mercy to babies who were suffering. This man would do any abortion, at any time through the pregnancy, for ANY reason. If you were due the day BEFORE you went to him, he would still provide his "services". The only thing that mattered was the money.

Today, on the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, it's so important to remember that if we lose this right to do what we wish with our bodies, there is a very real possibility that this "quality" of care could become the norm for women who need abortion services. These kinds of scary stories are the kind of thing that people heard before we had the legal right to choose. Do we really want to go back to seeing this type of operation regularly? Making abortion illegal won't stop it. But more people will die.

You can watch the documentary, 3801 Lancaster here. But PLEASE be advised that this video is extremely graphic. I would not recommend it for post abortive women, queasy individuals, rape victims, or women who have experienced any kind of pregnancy/infant/child loss. 

Phone-Bank for Choice (Colorado)

As all of you know, we have a little over a month before our country decides who will spend the next 4 years leading our country. Most of you also know that this year's decision is crucial for women's rights.

Right now, Colorado is one seat away from having the pro-choice majority in both the Colorado state house and senate. In order to secure this seat, the Colorado chapter of NARAL is gathering volunteers to help with a phone-bank. They need volunteers from now until the election in their office (address and specific dates listed below). They need volunteers from 5:30pm until 8:30pm, and if volunteers show up before 7:00pm, they will be able to work the phones. Volunteers will be discussing the importance of voting and the importance of voting for pro-choice candidates during the outreach.

Snacks will be provided during phone-bank hours, and often, a late night happy hour is held after the phone-bank at the Capital Hill bar. This is a great way for volunteers and workers to get to know each other better, as well as build friendships within the cause, so to speak.

If you're in the Denver area, and are interested in volunteering your time (or obtaining more information), please contact Jean Behr at jbehr@prochoicecolorado.org or by phone at816.694.4004. If you're not in the area (or just can't volunteer your time), you can always make financial contributions at their website here. Every little bit of time and effort makes a difference. And it is more important than ever for us to come together on this issue!

NARAL Pro-Choice Colorado

1905 Sherman St.

Suite 800

Denver, CO 80203

Phone-banking dates: September 26th, October 2nd, October 11th, and October 17th.

Remember, all times are from 5:30pm until 8:30pm, MDT.

Please remember just how important it is for us, as women, to vote in this election. The women before us fought far too hard for us to give up these rights without a fight. And as the mother of a daughter, a world without the option of choice, is not one that I want her to have to face. While we often take these rights for granted (especially young women, who have always had the comfort of these rights), it is now more important than ever to understand the gravity of women's rights.

For Those of Us with Daughters...

As most of you know, I have a daughter. I feel an enormous responsibility to instill certain things in her, in a way I suspect my husband feels towards our boys. I worry often that she is seeing certain things reflected in me that she may start to do herself, thinking that it's the "norm". For example, I've had body image issues for as long as I can remember (and that goes back to about age 4). I've always had to fight to maintain a certain weight, and to make peace with certain things about my appearance (though my biggest issue is obsessing over my weight). A few months ago, I was in the bathroom getting ready when I saw her step on the scale, wait for a number to come up, and then get excited, "30! Yesssss!". The scale did say 30.something lbs. But I don't think she knew what the number meant. But she has seen me step on the scale so many times, and either breathe a sigh of relief or step off, completely disappointed with myself. This is not a trend that I want her to start.

One of the things I worry about most, is that she won't take the opportunity to further her education with college and establish a career and life for herself before settling down to get married and have children. Don't get me wrong. Marrying my husband and having our children has been the highlight of my life. But it's also been hard. Hard in ways that I never want her to experience. Hard in ways that could have been prevented by me finding myself before I settled down. I want an easier path for her. And to be honest, I lose sleep sometimes worrying about how I'll explain to her why she should wait to settle down when I jumped right in.

Another thing, and this is a big one. We live in a world of "mean girls" and I don't want that for her. I want her to be a nice girl. Not in a 1950's prudish kind of way (though I won't complain if she's that kind of nice girl, too!). But in a simple "I'm a nice person" kind of way. I do not want her to be the girl that is so jealous of other girls that she can't maintain a friendship with any females. I do not want her to be a bully. I do not want other girls to be wary of her, whether or not they can trust her around their boyfriends, whether or not they can trust her to keep a secret, or whether or not they can safely approach her. I want her to be smart and steer clear of drama, because it will certainly find her on it's own. As women, we have to start raising nicer girls. If not, they're going to end up killing each other (*facepalm*).

As mentioned before, it is so important for her to know that she is more than just a body or a pretty face. She has to understand what it means to be beautiful on the inside, and how much more important that kind of beauty is. Her self worth has to depend on more than her looks. Mine never has and I don't want that for her.

When she decides that she's ready to become "active", she should know how to protect herself, and it's my job that she does. It's equally important that she feel comfortable to talk to me about it if she needs to (though I can't promise that I won't have a nervous breakdown once she leaves the room). It's really important to me that she understands the gravity of this decision (because not many young people grasp this), and the impact of the possible consequences.

It's important that ZoeJane knows that she deserves the best when she decides to settle down. She needs to understand that she doesn't have to settle for anything. It's important for her to know that she's worth the wait for the right person. She needs to know that she doesn't need to be with someone to be happy, but that with the right person, her happiness can be increased. Showing her that she deserves respect is key. And teaching her that she also has to give respect where it's due is also important. Mutual respect is the secret to success in any relationship, especially when it comes time to settle down and share your life with someone.

And finally, something that I'm working on now: She has to believe that she can do anything that she wants. Once she has children (if she chooses to do so), she is not tied down to children and a home. She can choose to stay with them or to be a working mother. She needs to understand that changing her last name doesn't have to mean losing herself. And if she chooses to follow the same path I have, she needs to know that it's never too late to better herself.

So...for those of you with daughters, what is important for your daughter to know?

I Had an Abortion

Okay. I didn't have an abortion. But I did read the book. Have you heard of it? It's pretty damn amazing, if you ask me. It's compiled of all of these personal stories of women and their abortions (check out the website). Each story begins with a picture of a woman standing in a solid black shirt with the words "I had an abortion" in bold white letters across the front. There's also a documentary that goes along with the book (also amazing). But reading this book made me think...if I had had an abortion, would I be brave enough to be so honest with it? There were lots of things to consider. I come from a long line of southern conservatives. Religious ones, at that. And let's face it: having an abortion isn't exactly a girl's ticket into "the nice girls club". No. Having an abortion almost always comes with a stigma. Very few women are able to have them without being judged by those closest to them. With that said, I think it would be very, very hard to "come out" about having an abortion, and it certainly wouldn't be something that I shouted from rooftops...but if someone asked, I think that yes, I would be able to say "I had an abortion".

What do you think? Have you had an abortion? If so, are you willing to speak out, or is something stopping you? If not, do you think you would be comfortable telling people?

Summer of Choice 2nd Annual Walk

As most of you know, Dr. Carhart is a strong advocate for a woman's right to choose. He is a former worker and friend of Dr. George Tiller, who was killed back in 2009. Now, Dr. Carhart has locations in Nebraska, as well as Germantown, Maryland.

Twelve years ago, Dr. Leroy Carhart and his wife, Mary established Abortion Access Fund, Inc. This fund helps provides abortion services, pap smears, and STD testing to women in the Nebraska and metro DC area who are struggling financially and need these services. The work they've put into building this organization is amazing, but they still need as much support as they can get! This is where all of you come into play...

On August 26th, the Abortion Access Fund, Inc. will be holding it's 2nd annual walk in Washington, D.C. A majority of the proceeds will go to help provide services for women, while a small portion will go into opening more clinics to provide more services for women.

If you're interested in participating, the walk will begin at the Mie N Yu restaurant in Washington, D.C. Registration will be held from 12:30-2:00pm with the walk to begin immediately afterwards. If you would like to register in advance, you can do so online for only $20. Online registration ends on August 22nd. If you choose to register the day of the walk, the fee is $25. The fee includes a water bottle and a t-shirt. After the walk, a reception will be held from 5pm-8pm at Mie N Yu, with a special guest appearance.

If you're like me and unable to attend, you can still donate to the fund through their website here. If you make a donation of $25+, you can still receive a water bottle and t-shirt. All donations are tax deductible. You can also get all the latest news regarding the fund, as well as apply for funding.

The address to the Mie N Yu restaurant is 3125 Main St. NW, Washington, D.C.
For any questions or concerns, please e-mail  soc@trust-women.org

Please, if you're in the area, go on out and show your support. Dr. and Mrs. Carhart are fighting a hard battle and they need all the support they can get. If you can't make it, please donate. And finally, if that isn't possible, please go to facebook and like their page (Abortion Access Fund, Inc.) and share it with your friends.

Say it with me people (because it should be hardwired into your vocabulary by now), we have to keep the conversation going!

We can ALL help...

I've said it before and I'll say it again. It doesn't take a whole lot of effort to help the women's right movement, especially when it comes to abortion. We just have to keep the conversation going and do our best to let other women know about their best options when faced with such a decision.

I would really like to start a list of clinics, doctors, doctor's offices, hospitals, etc. that provide compassionate support for women in need of termination services for whatever reason. So many women find themselves in the position to terminate a pregnancy, for whatever reason, only to have to deal with cold, stuffy, and sometimes downright cruel medical staff during the process. SO, I figure, if you have had an abortion or considered it or you know someone who has, you could send me the info (how the situation was handled, payment availability, location, name of doctor, website if available, etc.), I can list it on the appropriate list (Places Worth Your Time or Places to Avoid).

So, please know that I will most definitely keep you anonymous. This will ONLY be doctor information listed. Your name will be listed NOWHERE. PERIOD. If you've got info, personal or from a friend (etc), please consider sharing it so that other women can benefit, as well.

How old is old enough?

Today, I was reading Jill Stanek's blog and I saw this picture:



Of course, Jill Stanek was appalled that these women were standing here with each other, supporting something that meant that had any of their pregnancies been inconvenient (specifically, the daughter and granddaughter) they could have killed their child off. And they're all smiling about it. She finished off by saying that they were all "whacked" (side note: right after that last sentence, there is a list of Do's and Don'ts for Stanek's comment area...the first being DO criticize ideas, NOT people).

Clearly, I don't agree with Jill on this one. One reason being that I fully believe that PP provides a whole array of services to men AND women. Anyway, I saw this picture and I immediately noticed how young this little girl looks. She looks no older than 11 or 12 years old. Which brings the following question to mind: How old is old enough when it comes to explaining women's rights in regards to abortion?

This may be because I have a 5 year old daughter, and I know that eventually she will learn about these things. And I've always been a firm believer that when your child asks questions, you answer them. But in this case, if she happened to overhear something on the news regarding abortion and asked me about it, I don't think I'd feel comfortable explaining it to her yet. Part of me feels like this issue (abortion) should be handled when a girl (or boy) becomes sexually active. Wouldn't it fall somewhere in that conversation? Of course, that makes me think about all the little girls who have been raped and needed abortions at age 12. How awful! To be honest, I can't imagine when it would be the right time to discuss abortion with my daughter. But I know I wouldn't be comfortable with it ANY time soon.

So, the question here is...How old is old enough when it comes to the topic of abortion?

New Abortion Laws Sweeping the Country

On Thursday, August 2nd, Arizona's new law regarding abortion goes into effect. According to this law, no abortion shall be performed past 20 weeks (20 weeks from the last missed period...an extreme that most states passing 20 week bills don't seek to pass). This includes abortions due to fetal abnormality. Therefore, if a woman goes in for her anatomy scan at 20 weeks, 1 day and finds that her precious baby has a defect that is causing him or her to suffer, or one that will not allow them to thrive outside of the womb, or worse...will kill them, she will be forced to carry the pregnancy to term, crossing her fingers that her child passes on their own or that he or she does not suffer for long after they are born. Even Georgia's new 20 week bill that goes into effect in January isn't this extreme (Don't get all giddy...it's 10 different kinds of effed up, as well. There is no exception for rape and incest past 20 weeks). Georgia's law will outlaw abortions past 20 weeks gestation, with an exception for pregnancies that our wonderful Governor (cough), Nathan Deal, calls "medically futile" (Side note: The definition of futile: incapable of producing any useful results. Pointless......just in case you were wondering).

It is so sad to me that women and their families are suffering because pro-life politicians have such an agenda to push. I wish that people could understand that this issue really does need to be considered on a case by case basis. For example, while I support abortion...I personally do not believe in using abortion as a form of birth control, over and over again. I think that it should be used as an absolute last resort. But because these politicians believe that they have an agenda to push, they see this issue in absolutes. There is no gray area. Because their supporters don't support abortion, they are putting restricting laws on the issue for EVERYONE. They're treating every issue exactly the same. It's unacceptable. And as women, we need to be standing up and raising hell.

The London Olympics

I don't typically follow the Olympics, but a few days ago, something was mentioned on the news that really struck me. This is the first Olympics in history where every competing country has women competing! Really?! It's 2012. We've fought for voting rights, abortion rights, equality in the workplace, and here we are...just now getting women from every country competing in the Olympics? Yes, I realize that different countries do things different, but still...I was in SHOCK when I heard this!

I hope that when my daughter is my age, these shocking equalities are a thing of the past. I hope that she is able to hold a career and make as much as her male counterparts. I hope that if she has a problem with a pregnancy, she has the right to do as she sees fit. I hope that she exercises her right to vote and make her voice heard. We *have* to keep working, and protecting the progress we've made, if for no other reason...for our daughters.